A few days ago, my friends and I were talking about this acquaintance of ours. Let’s call her Z.
Z is extremely judgemental. She believes that everyone else should adapt to her way of thinking and behave the way she deems right. If we should “fall out of line”, Z would be quick to say nasty things about them. I think the problem with her, is that she is quite well to do, with her flashy shoppings and fat paychecks, she does not understand why some people (commoners like us) do the things we do.
Some of us leave jobs because we do not work for the money, we want a job where yes, it may pay the bills, but also to give us some satisfaction in life.
And while Z is quick to pass judgement on us, she should jolly well reflect on her own life. Despite having a loving fiance, she is screwing around with goodness number of guys and yet when anyone of us, god forbid changes boyfriends, she would say nasty things about us.
Z is what I call a “toxic friend”.
I have long written her off. I don’t see a point being close friends with such an “ugly” person.
Do you have a friend like “Z”? How do you deal with such a person?
I stay far far away from such people. Sometimes to the extent of blocking them on MSN and deleting them off my FB… I guess Life’s harsh enough at times and we all have our own worries and problems.. no need for someone extra to come and rub it in or make things worse. 😛
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nadnut Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Sadly there are many around. 🙁
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yup im sure everyone has friends like Z. just ignore such ppl. since they enjoy bitching about other ppl so much, let them bitch. such ppl are insecure and immature. at least it gives you an idea on what type of person Z is. it’s like a indirect label that says “HEY IM A BITCHY GIRL. YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME.” 🙂
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nadnut Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Hahahhaa yes!
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Hmm it depends. I usually tend to think back on things like “How long have I known her?” and “Has she been a good friend to me in the past besides being judgmental?” or has she been selfish all along with no one else on her mind but herself.
I mean everyone has their faults. I don’t know Z but just citing an example, some people, like Z, could be quick to pass judgment but yet can also be a loyal friend who might have done something nice for me in the past. To people who have treated me well, I tend to give more chances and see if I can gradually accept them. Some people have a foul mouth but could do the sweetest things to plan a birthday for you. Some others could have bad habits but when you cry, they are the first by your side.
I have a friend who disappears out of my life whenever she has a new boyfriend but yet because of the length of time we spent together when we were teenagers and because I love her enough, I choose to accept the fact that she’s that way. But I resolved the problem by talking to her about it.
So it really would depend how much you treasure her to let her stay or let her go. Just because she has done something wrong doesn’t mean she has never done something right 🙂 Just my thoughts!
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nadnut Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Thank god she’s just an acquiantance.
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I guess it boils down to maturity. She is being self righteous, but the difference between her and others who are also self righteous is the fact that, she forgot to judge her actions before playing the angel who deems her friend’s actions right or wrong. In the past, when we were younger, a lot of things can be easily categorised as right or wrong. I guess, as we grow older, we start to realise that it is really a balance between being truthful to yourself, doing the right thing, and sticking to certain principles we strongly believe in. There is no right or wrong. As a friend, we should be understanding and not quick to judge. I think people around her would find her super irritating? i suggest leaving her alone. Let her realize what she’s doing is actually keeping her friends away from her.
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nadnut Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Yeap, left her alone!
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well, i have other types of toxic friends.
i have a friend who always likes to compare, and i get really disturbed by it. she gets so upset if she’s not the “winner”.. sometimes it’s not all abt who is doing better, who earns more at their job, whose bf/fiance earns more, who has a bigger/nicer house, whose in-laws treat them better. but i don’t know how to tell her to stop comparing, cos she just doesn’t get it. she’ll say things like, “good lor, lucky you, you have ____.” … sigh. and if we talk abt something that we are happy about (that she may not have), she’ll think we’re rubbing it in her face. 😐
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