The Perfect V-Day Gift

Hi! I’m Tiger. *Roar*

And I’m the first guest-blogger on nadnut’s blog! (I think.) And contary to what she just said, I is can type/speak in proper english, hor.

Now as you may have noticed so far, she likes to mention me in her blog, which makes me a very happy tiger.

*purr*

Ok, now that I’ve gotten the bimbotic part done, I just need to find a way to circumvate the other three rules. Since I can’t blog about sex, or politics, I’ve decided to blog about something very dirty.

So dirty. (heh heh heh)

Mud.

WTF?!!?!? you must be thinking. And since the title of this blog entry is The Perfect V-Day gift, let me just harp on the wonderful and dirty properties of mud.

Ever wonder why pigs look so good even when wallowing and covered in mud? That’s because mud is the next best thing to sex!

Really!

That’s why they just roll around in mud all day long getting orgasms (Err oops no sex remember!) contary to the popular belief that they don’t have sweat glands so they need to roll in mud. Those liars are just hiding the truth from you.

Just look at the evidence

Notice the smile? Hah!

So how does this all add up? Basically, for your V-Day present, make it a point to tell you significant other that you have a wonderful gift for her, bring a jerry can, take her to a field, clear the grass, pour the water from the jerry can, ask her to close her eyes, and push her into the mud.

She will just erm wallow in pleasure like Mrs Piggy in the pic. And be eternally grateful to you that March 14 will actually be the best time of your life!

Ho ho ho.

Incidentally, if your girlfriend looks like her, drop me an email first with your phone number and stuff and I can help you make the arrangements before and after.

*Please also lastly note that the author is not responsible for any harm/injuries/lost of relationship that occurs from following this advice.*

*ow! dun hit me nad! ow! ow! ow!!!!*

*whimper*