she hugged herself.
she sat alone in the dark hidden below the covers. she felt so vulnerable. tears were running down her cheek. she was crying quietly for she knew if anyone heard her crying or even making a sound, she would get beaten again.
whenever he came back drunk, he would always find fault with her. the house wasnt clean enough, she wasnt earning enough for the family, she talked too much, she was watching the wrong channel on the tv, she was too quiet, she went to her room too much or she didnt bring luck to the family.
it was absurd. blaming the child for not bringing luck to him or the family. whenever he did not strike 4d or toto, it was always her fault. and she would get hit everytime.
she learnt to hide in her room and lock it up whenever he goes out to drink. she learnt to drown out his yelling and screaming. she learnt to ignore his sarcastic jibes at her. but in her heart, she will never forgive him. nor she will never forget.
she will never let another individual hurt her the same way he did. she will never let anyone put her down the same way again.
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
she learnt that the hard way.
Artist: Jamelia
Title: Thank YouThe fights, those nights
I tried to pretend it don’t hurt
The way, I prayed
Someday that you would love me
Really, completely
Just how I wanted it to be
But no, so wrong
Can’t believe I stayed with you so longYou hit, you spit, you split, ever-y bit of me, yeah
You stole, you broke, you’re cold
You’re such a joke to me, yeahFor every last bruise you gave me
For every time I sat in tears
For the million ways you hurt me
I just wanna tell you this
You broke my world, made me strong
Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong
Thank youMy head, near dead
Just the way you wanted it
My soul, stone cold
Cos I was under you’re control
So young, so dumb
Knew just how to make me succumb
But I un-derstand
To make yourself feel like a manYou hit, you spit, you split, ever-y bit of me, yeah
You stole, you broke, you’re cold
You’re such a joke to me, yeahFor every last bruise you gave me
For every time I sat in tears
For the million ways you hurt me
I just wanna tell you this
You broke my world, made me strong
Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong
Thank youYou coulda had it all babe
It coulda been so right
I woulda given you everything
Morning through night
Yeah, you taught me some lessons
Those are my blessings
That won’t happen again
Thank you
Well, let’s just say this struck a raw nerve. Only that I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. I.. had to be strong and I turned stronger. Well. At least that was how I spent part of my childhood under. = ) Smile, there are nicer things in life (like waking up in the morning feeling happy).
nadnut: nice to hear that. i’m just telling a story lah. =)
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Sounds sad yea…. imagine being tortured everynite. wa lao pain leh…… anyway abt this what doesn’t kill ya made ya stronger…. i always use this to motivate and decieved myself… hee hee….. cheers….. Jack
nadnut: i guess it does make one stronger in some ways aye?
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yep… no need to guess…… its been proven…. i’m still surviving after these years but not in full piece….. kinda immune to some stuffs and not dat painful after same sad stuff repeats again.
nadnut: that’s good to hear. take care yeah? 🙂
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The song lyrics touched a once-very-raw-nerve in me.
Though I’ve long moved on. It still evoked my memories.
It take a very broken person to pen that song…
nadnut: *hugs*
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Time for her to kill this lousy no-good low-life bastard asshole.
nadnut: murder is against the law. else she would have done so… much earlier….
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