Featured Yours truly... by nadnut

My mother, my inspiration.

I would like to think that I grew up differently from other kids my age. While other mothers would mollycoddle or be overprotective over their daughters, my mum in a certain extent, couldn’t care less.

I remember walking to school myself at a very very young age. While she would ask how was my day in school, she hardly bothered about my grades. If I failed, just try harder she would say or if I passed, she would smile and say I did a fine job. She would be more interested in how I enjoyed studying rather than how I fared.

I could stay out late as long as I phoned back. As I grew older, there was hardly the need to ever “report” where I was going. While other mothers would instill a curfew or would insist on knowing the every whereabouts of their daughters, my mum was “cool” with whatever I was doing.

I remember her telling me that should I ever get pregnant (this was when I was <12 years old), to never ever do anything foolish. She would raise the child with me. She was the one who first got me my first spag strap top and encouraged me to wear them when other mothers would chide their daughters from exposing too much. My friends were always envious of me, while they had to sneak out of their houses in cardigans which they later shed, I could walk out wearing spag straps that my mum bought for me. She later told me about her rationale on doing so, she never wanted to have her daughter telling lies to her like the other kids were doing to their parents. She wanted me to share everything with her.

When I stopped going for religious studies when I was eleven (an age where most parents would still be  rotan-ing their kids), my mum only said she understood and didn’t say much about the matter. She never really showed much interest in the grades I was getting nor did she ever place any pressure in jobs that I was working.

I think the way my mum parented me was more like a parent leaving their kid near the swimming pool. I could choose to either sit on the sides or I could jump in. I may drown or I may swim finely but it was my choice. She wouldn’t dump me into the swimming pool like how most parents tried to teach their kids to swim. She wanted me to make my own choices instead of forcing them on me.

She always encouraged me to do whatever I like. If I hated a job, quit. Why be unhappy at work, she would say. While I was given the freedom to “roam” in a certain extent, I felt that I hardly strayed. I didn’t find the need to rebel from my parents, I never felt like running away from home or to slit my wrist or do some drama mama stuff that the kids at my school were doing. I guess, when you’re given so much freedom, you hardly find the need to lie/rebel to your parents.

Till now, I am still surprised at how liberal my mum is considering the fact that she was brought up in the typical Muslim setting. Once when we went shopping, she pointed out at some lingerie and suggested that I buy those when I visited Tiger in Australia back then. She also thought I was dating many guys at one time. Which I wasn’t ok! I have a LOT of guy friends. It’s only natural considering the fact that I was a tomboy when I was younger. Hell, my first best friend was a boy!

While I wasn’t strong academically, I gotta admit, I did slack a lot in school as there was no pressure to maintain my grades, I like to think that my relationship with my mother is a fine one. She supports me in everything I do even if she doesn’t understand the decisions I make. Like for this SoyJoy competition, she keeps asking her friends to vote and keeps updating me everyday “That guy is catching up!”. LOL. It’s amusing actually. I didn’t tell her anything about my “blogging escapades” but she always seem to find out. She also rallied her friends to come down to the blogathon to vote for me.

I love her to bits and while she may not be able to provide me with well, many stuff like other parents do, I find that the relationship with her beats everything else.

I don’t know if she’ll be reading this but I’m sure her many colleagues will be reporting to her regarding this entry. (She has spies wor!).

I love you mum. 🙂

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43 thoughts on “My mother, my inspiration.”

  1. Nadnut’s mom, if you are reading this – I WANT TO MARRY NADNUT!

    🙂

    –

    absolutely lovely entry and a definite good read this early morning. good luck to everything else in life dear! 🙂

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Alright! If i don’t get married by the time I’m 40, I know who to call. :X

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  4. Your mum is cool man.
    Most of the time when you are given too much freedom you tend to go bad and hanyut
    You are a different case =)

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:41 am

    I think it really depends on the individual too :X

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  7. Your mom is rly different! kinda envy u. =) I rebel alot coz my mom was tried to be strict w me.

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Being too strict (as in over possessive and controlling) will usually make the kids rebel in my opinion.

    I prefer being guided than to be told (or ordered) what to do. Hope your relationship with your mum is all good now!

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  10. i love this entry very very much. i would think that this would go down as one of the classics of all time. it’s a lovely piece of simple, and yet real and sincere, writing.
    really sweet. 🙂
    i bet your mom loves you and is proud of you as much as you love her and am proud of her.
    i am envious, in a good way. 😉 and i agree with jojo. this entry gives me some sense of direction as to how i may want to bring up my kids in the future. awesome.

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:47 am

    My mum loves me a lot and is supportive of what I do and I’m glad to have her support 🙂

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  11. i dont think i will be proud to have such a mother, i mean this is just my opinion. how can a mother actually allows her daughter to convert from a muslim to a free thinker? masyallah.

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  13. Such a lovely post dedicated to your Mum.

    I agree with you about not wanting to rebel as much when you’re given the freedom. I was brought up with much freedom too and I’m glad I’m not out doing things that disappoint anyone. 🙂

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:47 am

    ^5!

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  14. passerby: in my humble opinion, isn’t religion something one should choose? of course she isn’t too happy about it but she would rather i make my own decisions. would you rather i be like many “muslims” out there who eat pork and drink? at least i do not pretend to be a muslim and yet do such things.

    busybody: oops edited! thanks! honestly, i hardly spellcheck my entries. oops!

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  20. I ve a 15 yr old daughter n I think I m doing ok as a mum. I inspired to be like yr mum too n it is really refreshing to read a daughter’s take abt her own mum. So thank you for this inspiring read. Both u n your mum are very blessed to ve so much love n trust in each other.

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 10:29 am

    I feel the same way too. 🙂 Thanks dear!

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  22. I am proud that my mom is not like your mom. As cool as your mom sounds and as good as a relationship that you two have, I am proud to say that I do not envy you at all. There are people that still cut their wrist because their parents are “too cool” to care about them. I know a girl just like you…but unlike you, she wasn’t sure if her mom loves her at all; giving her all the freedom she wants, not yelling at her, not teaching her right from from wrong made her wonder if her mom really ever do care about her….she used to tell me how she wish her mom would yell at her a little more, call her a little more like my mom….and that’s how I know how great a mother I have…a mother isn’t supposed to be our friend, she is supposed to protect us and let us make our own mistakes..and we are supposed to love her but hate her at the same time…that is a mother’s role and I am grateful my mother gave me boundaries.

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    nadnut Reply:
    October 5th, 2011 at 10:34 am

    I think you may have misunderstood my post.

    As for your friend, it’s very different from how my mum brought me up. Yes, my mum gives me freedom and support, but there is no way that I can mistake freedom for lack of love or confusion. Infact, every night before we go to sleep, we tell each other, good night, love you.

    My mum cares for me in every way but she never controlled or pushed me to do whatever I do not want to do.

    And in my humble opinion, no matter how any parents treat their kids (be it with freedom/controlling/easygoing/unreasonable), it is how the children wants to behave ultimately.

    If i wanna rebel, even the most fiercest mother will never be able to stop me.

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