i have been guilty.
guilty of pushing people away. it seems everytime i get hurt so badly by someone, ill be pushing people who cares about me away.
it happened once 3-4 years ago.
and i did it again this year. i guess i dont wanna need somebody so bad again incase ill get hurt again.
and i know it has hurt you guys.
i couldnt deal when you needed to know more, when you started being insistent on me moving on fast. i need to move at my own pace.
i felt restrained. and constricted.
i dont like being read like an open book. i guess thats my problem, when friends come too close, i move away.
like someone once close to me said, pride.
its all about pride.
argh. i apologise to those i have pushed away. (if you still read my blog)
i dont like feeling vulnerable. i know, no one likes to feel that too. i’m sorry.
and i really miss you guys…
