i’m that girl you left when you went away.

i’m that girl who was a geek when she was young. i’m that girl who rushed back home to do her homework when she reached back home. i’m that girl who never had any toys to play with but only books to read. i’m that girl who was always ugly and never pretty or cute like my cousins.i’m that girl who finally found out what it was like to have fun when she turned 12.

i’m that girl who started going to school on her own when she was 7. i’m that girl who juggled 7 ccas when she was in primary school. i’m that girl who always attained best in cca in primary and secondary schools. i’m that girl who never believes in showing how she truely feels to anyone. i’m that girl who believes crying is a sign of weakness.

i’m that girl who decided not to study and have fun ever since growing up only studying and never going out. i’m that girl who started failing her grades and not giving a damn. i’m that girl who would go out for a movie and start studying 5 hours before her paper.

i’m that girl who had to endure being beaten everytime she did something wrong when she was young. i’m that girl who remembers how it was like growing up in an unhappy family. i’m that girl who once threw a chair at her dad who was beating her mum. i’m that girl who hates her dad to the core and wishes that he was dead. i’m that girl who vowed never to let anyone lay a hand on her again.

i’m that girl who thought she had finally found happiness when she met a guy from school. i’m that girl who never believed in true love but thought she had found it when she met him. i’m that girl whose heart you broke on April 12th. i’m that girl who cried buckets of tears when you went away. i’m that girl who can never go overseas to study for there is no money put away for her studies.

i’m that girl who still loves you. i’m that girl who you never truely loved. i’m that girl who has hardened her heart against love. i’m that girl who you held my hand when i was due for an operation.

i’m that girl who dreams of an accident every few months and its about herself. i’m that girl who writes stories of death and tragedy and wishes those were real. i’m that girl who was too proud to beg for you back.

i’m that girl who only got a computer 2 years ago. i’m that girl who smiles even when she’s sad.

i’m that girl who is addicted to red bull since i was 6. i’m that girl who has pushed away 3 best friends of hers. i’m that girl whose afraid that you’ll see the real me. i’m that girl who never knew how to cycle till this year. i’m that girl who used to score straight As.

i’m that girl whose first bestfriend was a boy in kindergarden. i’m that girl who gave my bestfriend a kiss on the cheek when i was 5. i’m that girl who folded 1000 paper stars when i was 8. i’m that girl who learned to be independent for there is no one else to depend on.

i’m that girl who was dressed in mickey mouse clothes till i was 11. i’m that girl who cannot stomach the taste of coffee nor tea since young. i’m that girl who has a good head for maths.

i’m that girl who pretends to be happy when she’s not. i’m that girl who wants to be drunk to forgot her sorrows. i’m that girl who has finally given up on him and love but still loves him.

i’m that girl who hugs everyone for everytime she does, she feels whole again. i’m that girl who comforts everyone but herself. i’m that girl who writes those stories based on her feelings or emotions at the moment. i’m that girl who pretends nothing is wrong.

i’m that girl who has turned 21 but looks 18, acts 17 for everyone to see but feels 30 inside. i’m that girl who shows you what you want to see. i’m that girl who wants you to believe that i’m happy when actually i’m not. i’m that girl who cries in the dark. i’m that girl who loves to occupy herself with her friends but yet feels so lonely with them. i’m that girl who smiles when i’m crying inside. i’m that girl who acts cheerful as the world prefers a smiley face than a crying one.

i’m that girl who never feels that she has done enough. i’m that girl who always feels that i’m not good enough. i’m that girl who feels ugly and fat every single day. i’m that girl who suffers from stress migraines every week. i’m that girl who hates to answer questions about herself or her feelings. i’m that girl who has never told anyone about her past and yet wrote it down here for the whole world to see.

yes, i’m that girl. who are you?

*fact or fiction, u decide*